I'm gonna buy a new dress for my bitchass birthday on Saturday.

I want something that makes mah boobs look good and makes me feel good. Normally those two go hand in hand. Gonna get my bangs trimmed and tie a black bow on my wrist.


I hate you poetry portfolio. You're not on the list of things that are cheering me up right now.

I'm doing okay. It still feels weird, like it's not permanent.

I haven't been posting mainly cause of school, cross mah heart.

I never wanted to relate to a Lady Gaga song.

I keep watching the Bad Romance video because it doesn't make me cry like Running Up that Hill or I Didn't Know What Time it Was.

I hope my friends still like me since I made such a big deal about not liking Gaga.

At least papers are being written and money's still being made at work.

I love my family and I was really looking forward to the support they would give, but I forgot that it's a major holiday and we have extended family. I'm sleeping on my sister's trundle bed because someone is sleeping in my room, so now I can't cry a little bit before I go to bed.

My body is so exhausted from trying to process that Mark and I broke up. It doesn't work. I can't process food, let alone facts. I keep taking in water and that is all.

It's a mistake.

When faced with being productive, lately I opt to do other things.

Like making wishlists on Chronicle Books, UO and Anthro.
In addition, I put on dark lipstick, made a bunch of new lj user pics, found a blister on the ball of my left foot, put on a bandaid, wore two sets of Crest white strips back to back, and watched a BUNCH of Law&Order: SVU.


I want to be fiscally irresponsible and buy a fitted leather jacket like I've wanted to for a year and a half.


 

These are keeping me going.

I haven't started a short paper that's due tomorrow. Mark told me he was coming down with a fever and wasn't coming over, so I fell asleep on my bed because I was disappointed.

I'm just worn out lately. I see Mark every other day and that's really actually okay with me right now. I'm getting used to the schedule, but all I do right now is work and school and Mark. When I don't go to Mark's, I sit on my bed till 4 am almost every night in this apartment by myself. Today my poetry teacher recommended the masters program at Emerson to me and I did't have the heart to admit that I don't know where it even is because I spend so much time NOT thinking about getting an MFA. Maybe if a year or so, but Lord I cannot think about more than just getting my BA right now.

I just really want to cuddle with Mark and watch videos on hulu.


I am this close to bursting into tears because I've so vastly over-served myself.
 

I stood in a crowd of ten people and watched a guy in a full body Gumby suit snort cocaine off his desk. Halloween was not as boring as I thought it'd be.

A handsome man is cooking me dinner while I work on my paper. I ruv him.

Why does my french teacher hate me so so much? I don't know why she waits till the night before to tell us we have a regions quiz over THIRTEEN regions, three of which we are supposed to research TONIGHT

MERDE

POURQUOI

:[

 

Maitenant, je boirais un cafe avec chocolate parce que je suis tres triste et fatiguee.

I can't add the proper accents and I am forgetting basic french. I don't know if the sentence previous would be acceptable in an in-class discussion.

 

hai guys
Lookit mah new mug, muggin on you.



I'm lookin at you Sophie Morton. Why you gotta do me like this and pile on the franch homework at the last minute.

If you like me and you like words, you should keep track of me
@ http://athunderheart.wordpress.com/
I'll certainly return the favor if you've got one.

Smooch.

Night night.
 

Bone Soup

I really hope I don't take my retainer out in my sleep again so that my jaw will stop grinding and giving me these awful headaches. If I even tip over a little bit it's all I can do to not press my palms against my temples and grimace.

This cool weather is really nice.

I won a 50 dollar gift certificate to Fred Flare!

Feeling really scatter brained and my throat is burning from hot peppers, but 50 dollars!!!

It's 6 am. I've been up all night finishing the novel I didn't have time to read this week because of job training. I am only halfway through my French homework. I have class at 11 am.

Dear Lord, please let me get in a nap at least before then. I haven't studied for my second menu test yet. I have work after class tomorrow.

The sleep never ever comes. This is why I sleep till 4 pm when I have days with no prior obligations.
 

I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven't started yet. I have circles under my eyes that make up can't cover. But I have leftover free enchiladas from work and I got my wonderful ram ring in the mail today. After tomorrow my homework load is non existent until next week. It's raining outside and I'm sitting in bed in my underwear. Money is coming my way.

Everything's nice and balanced.
 

Got the interview today-- Got him to say "You're hired."

Still gonna be a waitress, but at the Blue Goose Cantina instead of Texas Land & Cattle.












 I had a dream last night that my grandma sat in the corner of my room while I killed a woman in my apartment for stealing everything I own. This is not how I want to steel myself against the fact that my grandma had a stroke on Thursday night and I can't do anything about it.
 

Wah wah.

I couldn't stand not knowing so I called to clarify what he meant, and he meant the one I didn't want :[ He's calling next week to tell me if I got the job at all.

Ahhhhhgh I was so relieved to have it all done with. I'm tired of worrying about money to this extent.

I had a nightmare last night about screwing up an order at a restaurant that I don't even work at. I was wearing a kimono and running around some burger joint, trying for hours to get lettuce and cheese for this woman's burger. She said I forgot about her even though I woke up exhausted from trying to keep her happy all night. I ended up owing this imaginary restaurant my first imaginary paycheck.

I have an interview with another restaurant on Saturday though, so I'm hoping it's not too much to hope that I get at least ONE of these two waitress positions.


So so sad :[
 

 

 

Unless I severely misunderstood what the manager meant by, "We're training a girl this week and I don't like to train two at once, so I'll call you next week," I start training to be a waitress at Texas Land & Cattle next week!

I'm overthinking it and wondering if he meant that he'll call next week to decide if they're going to hire me at all, but we talked forever about Law&Order and his love of UFC, so I'm pretending to be completely confident that he meant he'll call to schedule my training. Why bother mentioning how he doesn't want to train us both at the same time if he isn't planning on having me trained period?

I can't wait to be putting cold hard cash monies into my GEEDUS envelope.

$$$